Changing the “suck” narrative!

I’m feeling the suck today.  How many times have you heard that from your best friend, colleagues, or loved ones?  Maybe you have felt the suck and you feel stuck in it right now.  Well, the suck is a real thing and it can come from so many areas of our lives.  The suck can be from the loss of or the idea of something we wanted, valued or had and so much more.  So what can we do with the suck?

First, I think it is important to identify the emotions that are tied to the suck.  Those emotions can be anything from sadness, nervousness, anger, and/or fear. (and many more)  Lean into those emotions.  Suppressing those emotions won’t make them go away but accepting that you are having an experience with the emotions gives you control over the emotional experience.

Second, what are the thoughts and the story that are associated with emotions of the suck.  Here’s what happens… when we are stuck in the suck and not moving out of it our left brain narrator loves to make up stories about being stuck in the suck or just the suck in general.  Again, this goes back to identifying the narrative and the thoughts and writing that down.  The exercise of writing that stuff down with a pen and paper takes it out of our heads and can take the sting out of the suck.  Or at least make it less hurtful.  It will still be there but this exercise helps put you into a state of action.  Action helps you! No action keeps you stuck!  Again, let me rephrase… NO ACTION KEEPS YOU STUCK IN THE SUCK.  

Third, look at what you wrote and begin to rewrite it from a place of how can I make a change to that narrative of suck?  Of course this can be difficult due to a lot of factors such as the choice to stay down in the dark, overwhelming sadness and many other things, however; making a small choice to rewrite even a small piece of that narrative starts the process.  

Here are some examples I’ve heard and seen.  I had an amazing company and it went belly up.  I won’t ever be able to have another business.   I must be the worst business owner on the face of the planet.  His rewrite. My old business was an amazing learning experience and I am going to choose to learn from my mistakes.  I’m glad I had that business because it made me recognize what I can truly do.  And it’s ok for me to take a break from being a business owner.

This break-up has me crying all day long.  I’m never going to find another person like him.  I loved him and my heart is broken.  I’m worthless and obviously unworthy of anyone good in my life. Her rewrite.  I am sad about the break-up…. Truly sad.  It still hurts and I know that everyday is different without him.  I am building on my good days when I don’t think about him.  That old relationship is part of my history.  My sadness isn’t going to be here forever because I won’t let it.  I want to live my life on my own terms.  

These are just two examples and I have more but I hope that you get the gist.  It’s a hard exercise to complete because it’s easier to say I have no control and stay in the suck.  What I’m saying is you have to start somewhere and this is just a good place to start.  

So embrace the suck and begin to make incrimental changes so the suck doesn’t continue to hinder your life.  You have much more control over you than you think you do.  

Do you have questions?

Need some guidance and coaching surrounding how to get out of the suck?  Give me a call now!  

I got you!

I’m your Integrative Performance Coach